I'm still attached, I can't unattach. He lives round the corner. He did live 25 miles away. I don't want to be with him, but I can't stand the thought of him being with anyone else.
It makes me tense, angry, frustrated, tearful. I have to get away from here. I feel trapped, like a fly in a spiders web, every move I make just suffocates me more, squeezes the breath out, breaks me into little pieces. It hurts, it still hurts.
The feelings are coming back, I've been fighting them off for months, ignoring the tears, fear, mood swings, flashbacks, images, memories.
I'm scared of letting go, I don't know where it'll end up, I don't want any more stitches, scars that bullishly refuse to heal. The scars don't help, they just remind me of days when I failed.
I can't remember who I am anymore. I'm walking through shadows.